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Music

The songs on this project have been works in progress for about a decade with bits and pieces built here and there over time. The title “Ordinary Realities” comes out of a deep struggle with trying to figure out how to be a creative person in the midst of a very ordinary life. The songs have been more like long journeys, one step at a time, not knowing a whole lot about where we were going and what we were doing or why we were here.

 

Lyrics

 Desperate   heart

Desperate heart, have you felt the cold
Of the battle raging on inside your soul
Desperate heart, do you know the sting?
The craze of lifeless meaning keeps you lingering.

Desperate heart, have you felt the pain
Of losing everything you thought you’d gained?
In the end is is still the same
A bleeding wound compared to selfish gain
And a desperate heart?

Ooo…

CHORUS
Sometimes I want this masquerade to end
But then I see how weak and frail I really am
Loving you takes more than all the marrow in my bones
But somehow gives me strength to stand

Desperate heart, is is getting old
Wandering where you never thought you’d go?
How much longer is the bitter road
The one you never thought you’d walk alone
With a desperate heart?

Ooo…

CHORUS
Sometimes I want this masquerade to end
But then I see how weak and frail I really am
Loving you takes more than all the marrow in my bones
But somehow gives me strength to stand

Bridge I want to breathe the air you breathe
I want to know the life you’ve lived
But every chance you give
Leaves a sting

CHORUS
Sometimes I want this masquerade to end
But then I see how weak and frail I really am
Loving you takes more than all the marrow in my bones
But somehow gives me strength to stand

 Gold   in    pavement

Funny how some things can turn on a dime
Confidence breaks into fumbling lines
The girl that I knew has fallen behind
Trying to find her way home
Feeling invalid, I feel incomplete
I feel insecurity down to my feet
I know the cold stone of obsolete
That never leaves me alone
With so many questions, so many doubts
There’s so many things I can live without

CHORUS
I keep panning for gold in pavement
Beating my head to a wall
Waiting for an engagement
From things that don’t love me at all
Digging for water in concrete
Can’t put an end to this drought
I’m tired of fighting, trying to break free
From this lonely world that doesn’t know me!

I’m no one to tell you now what to believe
In things that you can or cannot see
I only confess to the war in me
That never leaves me alone
You see my face but you can’t see my soul
I’m not the girl that you think you know

CHORUS
I keep panning for gold in pavement
Beating my head to a wall
Waiting for an engagement
From things that don’t love me at all
Digging for water in concrete
Can’t put an end to this drought
I’m tired of fighting, trying to break free
From this lonely world that doesn’t know me!

So many questions, so many doubts,
So many things I can live without
You see my face but you can’t see my soul
I’m not the girl that you think you know
I’m tired of fighting, trying to break free
From this lonely world that doesn’t know me

 Sometimes   life

Sometimes life leaves you cold
And wanting things you cannot hold
You taste and you breathe
But it only leaves you letting go

Sometimes life leaves you hurt
Falling from the rocks into the dirt
You don’t know how you got here
But now you’ve gotta heal

CHORUS
But there’s a light inside
And I want to be near
This reckless hope I fear
Is closer than I can feel

Sometimes life leaves you town
When you try to move you feel it’s thorn
You stumble through the race
Needing a place to call your own

CHORUS
But there’s a light inside
And I want to be near
This reckless hope I fear
Is closer than I can feel
I want to see the day
When all the night is gone
But I’ve never been that good
At seeing through the storm

I can beat my fist to the ground
I can scream out loud
I can try to put the light out
But it doesn’t burn out
No, it doesn’t burn out.

 Broken

Well Baby, i wish it were easy
Or maybe a little bit light
The weight of the world on your shoulders
Can deaden the end in sight

I would rather be alone than to lose you
And you know how hard I can fight
I would rather be dead than to use you
And have you caught in my web of lies

CHORUS
The world is broken, broken in two
And it is in me and it is in you
O light that lights heaven! Shine your light all the way home!
We are strangers here made to be known.

Well it seems like everything’s changing
Funny how nothing is new
The cycle continues to turn now
And the end is long overdue

I am standing on the edge of something
Reaching out from the inside
Feeling shoved in to a wall now
And pressed on every side

CHORUS
The world is broken, broken in two
And it is in me and it is in you
O light that lights heaven! Shine your light all the way home!
We are strangers here made to be known.

Oh……

When I see your face it shines like the sun
And i know, i know
That your voice will carry me, carry me home

CHORUS
The world is broken, broken in two
And it is in me and it is in you
O light that lights heaven! Shine your light all the way home!
We are strangers here made to be known

 I   see    more

My son, you have a heart of fire
That burns up to the sky I know you think that I don’t understand
Or even know why
But I see more, more than you think I do
You were made to fly
If you were a bird you would soar
I knew this when you were born
But I see more, more than you think I do

CHORUS
I don’t want to hold you down or keep you in a cage
Your heart is wild, your feet are fast, your soul burns like flames
I see more, more than the surface says

Oooo…..

Your life is like a song
With many different lyrics
And it brings beauty to all of those who hear it
The truth is in you, so sing it out loug

CHORUS
I don’t want to hold you down or keep you in a cage
Your heart is wild, your feet are fast, your soul burns like flames
I see more, more than the surface says

Ooooo…..

My son, you have a heart of fire
That burns up to the sky I know you think that I don’t understand
Or even know why
But I see more, more than you think I do
More than the surface says
More than you think I do
More than you think I do

 I   come   clean

There are lies I do not understand
There are thoughts I wish I could have planned
There are moments and intentions gone astray
I can’t believe it’s this way
Oh…if you only knew
Oh…if you only knew

I come clean as you see through
All of the layers that I don’t want you to.
I don’t know how you do it now
But you see all my colors and I haven’t shown you how
I haven’t shown you how

The more I learn the less I understand
The more I dream the more there’s altered plans
The more I taste the more that I can see
All the crooked messed up ways inside of me
Oh…if you only knew
Oh…if you only knew

I come clean as you see through
All of the layers that I don’t want you to.
I don’t know how you do it now
But you see all my colors and I haven’t shown you how
I haven’t shown you how
In height there’s higher to go
In depth there’s deeper to know
No more hiding
Just let go. Just let go.

I come clean as you see through
All of the layers that I don’t want you to.
I don’t know how you do it now
But you see all my colors and I haven’t shown you how
I haven’t shown you how

 art   hill

It was a night I won’t forget
That no one could have ever planned
The moon was full, the sky was clear
The fountains danced below the land

We laid out underneath the sky
Laid there for a little while
Few words needed to be said
The look you gave me was your smile

CHORUS
I will not forget that place
When all things stopped in time and space
It was as if all time stood still
As we sat out on Art Hill

There is comfort in the pain
Of being fully, fully known
There is safety in that place
Of calling you my very own

CHORUS
I will not forget that place
When all things stopped in time and space
It was as if all time stood still
As we sat out on Art Hill

I will love you, love you still
Long after Art Hill

 Satisfied

Can I break down on you again?
It won’t be the last time
All the voices in my head
Keep telling me those lies
I have realized that I want to hold on tight

I am satisfied. I am satisfied with you.

You lift me up to see the truth
When I don’t want to see
And though I fight you away
I don’t want you to leave
I have realized that I want to hold on tight

I am satisfied. I am satisfied.
I am satisfied. I am satisfied with you.

Though waves bring me down
You are my heart’s crown
Though waves bring me down
You are my heart’s crown

I have realized that I want to hold on tight.

 Walking   in   the   light

Lay your head down, my love
This won’t be over for a while
Take this moment to find
A quiet heart that leads you through fire

CHORUS
If you have faith to move a mountain
Can it calm the storm inside?
I know it’s hard to believe but
In the dark you’re walking in light.

This ain’t no easy road
But love is stronger than the sun
Let me help you carry the load
So you can rest your heart until morning comes

CHORUS
If you have faith to move a mountain
Can it calm the storm inside?
I know it’s hard to believe but
In the dark you’re walking in light.

 Yesterday

I hope that one day when my children are grown
I have something to show for the life that I’ve shown
I don’t want to get to the end and regret
That I wasted my life and the years that I spent

To say, “O that was yesterday”
O that was yesterday
O that was yesterday
Now it’s gone, gone, gone

I hope that one day when I’m old and grey
That the moments I live would have something to say Like a song in the night when the loneliness strikes
And the way that I walked was the way to the light

That says, “There’s more than yesterday”
There’s more than yesterday
Look ahead on past yesterday
Cause it’s gone, gone, gone

I hope that one day when my children are grown
I have something to show for the life that I’ve shown
I don’t want to get to the end and regret
That I wasted my life and the years that I spent

To say, “O that was yesterday”
O that was yesterday
Come back yesterday
Cause you’re gone, gone, gone